And after a brief pause...

I'm back.

Been gone for a minute, redirecting, gaining energy and focus. Making decisions, ugh. Getting organized. Understanding what's important, i.e. setting priorities.

Over the past couple months, I have spent considerable time thinking about what it takes for me to do something well. So I have been saying no to more things than my schedule will allow but I've been trying to focus on really putting a great deal of effort into each event, project, gathering, skill that I am focused on at the moment.

And frankly, it's been working. I feel more grateful for my time, and proud of my work or participation. I have had less anxiety about each particular occasion because I felt more prepared. It's been great. But with all things considered...

I find myself thinking about what other people do with their Tuesday (etc.) nights. So while I am being more mindful and productive, like Mindy says, how many people are hanging out without me? Sometimes I feel great about staying in to be prepared for the next day, but next month is when I have a lot less stories with this friend or that group because I was guarding my energy and focus. So yea, a little FOMO guys...

Finding the balance between good stress and bad stress is a constant change. As we get older, we have different responsibilities and at some times, we have more or less.

Having too many responsibilities does not allow for preparation time, which personally, gives me anxiety to "not be prepared". Having little or no responsibilities makes me feel lazy and entitled. As I have been learning, I feel most fulfilled when I have done good, meaningful work (usually with and/or for others) and when I feel that I am working towards something bigger.

Within the last couple of years, I have been weary of the phrase, "I don't have time" because I do have time, and I am so fortunate to be able to dictate what I do with my time. I have responsibilities that need to be taken care of but no set rulebook of how they need to get done. If I choose to spend my time ignoring my responsibilities, they don't go away, they just stack up, which is bad stress. But having the balance of things done and things to do is where we can feel satisfied.

It's Monday though, so let's see how balanced we can keep this week;)